Steve Addazio’s Dream

So you guys said to kind of spread out the anti-Addazio barrage.

I have a better idea. Let’s rip on him in DIFFERENT WAYS and I will rotate how I make fun of him.

It’s been awhile since my last Steve Addazio to Gator Nation article, so I decided to do this instead of another article, so that way, the hatred stays fresh and it doesn’t get tiresome.

Yes, it’s pure hatred.

I’m a junior in high school and it is by far the most stressful year of my life. Teachers kill me with work, without regard to my social life, destroying it in the process. I rarely go out this year- I don’t have time.

So I carelessly thought that after working hard all week, I could just kick back on Saturdays and watch a little Florida football. You know, up to and including the Gators mauling opponents like lions maul gladiators in ancient Rome.

Ah, but I overlooked Addazio’s idiocy, and Gator football- ie Addazio- simply teamed up with schoolwork to give me a very stressful year.

I will never forgive him for that. Never. I endured 3 months of pure hell. There were only four good moments- beating Tennessee, Georgia and Penn State. The fourth was Burton punishing Kentucky for a Florida record 6 TD’s.

Hey.

TD’S.

Move the letters around and you’ve got STD!!!

So THAT’S why Addazio feared them and always kept his distance!!! I gotcha, Steve. I gotcha.

Maybe he wore an especially strong condom during the Kentucky game, or maybe Trey Burton got into his head that touchdowns aren’t a bad thing.

Whatever.

Enjoy it guys.

Caption: And then Addazio sees that it’s only the Outback Bowl from the score, and wakes up

2 thoughts on “Steve Addazio’s Dream

  1. OK, hold the f-ing phone. There are a few holes that I see in your logic Neil, and I’m gonna point them out to you whether you like it or not.
    First- The only dreams Steve has are wet. This is far too complicated for his little brain to handle. If he even came close to dreaming this his head would probably split wide open.
    Second- Addazio would not want to be referred to as “King of the World”. He would much rather want to be called “Neptune, King of Necrophiliac’s”.
    Third- If he were to win the National Championship against us he would immediately stick his head so far up his ass to smell his own farts that he would suffocate to death, thus not being able to give any input after the game.
    So you see, there are quite a few glaring problems here buddy.
    I would love to continue in blasting more holes in your logic Neil, but right now I’ve gotta go teach a Sloth how to run on its hind legs.
    Until next time.

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