Snapshot: Florida-FSU graphic shows the Gators own the Noles

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Well, it’s about that time of the year again.

A little less than a year ago, I released a chart comparing Florida and FSU’s football programs. The idea was to silence FSU fans who went out of their way to mock Gator fans about their worst season since 1979. And boy, it accomplished that:

But that’s just football. Florida plays more than one sport, and part of what makes being a Gator fan so special is the program’s ability to produce great teams in any sport. Hence the popular twitter hashtag #EverythingSchool. The University of Florida is great at everything, which begged the question: why not do a comparative chart for all sports?

So that’s exactly what I did.

Before I show you the chart, though, I want to clarify one thing: the amount of national championships FSU has in reality does not match the amount of national championships they claim, for a (wide and hilarious) variety of reasons. So go ahead and check the graphic out, but then keep reading. What I’ve discovered regarding their true national championship count is almost as priceless as the actual data itself.

So, enough teasing. Here it is.

Florida owns FSU


As you probably noticed from the three asterisks next to FSU’s 11 national championships, there are some problems regarding their national championship count. Depending on the degree of ignorance in the FSU fan you ask, they may have up to 19 national championships. Part of the problem is that some FSU fans are either stupid enough to wholly trust Wikipedia, or just don’t care enough to do independent research. Every time Florida wins a national championship, and I point out that Florida has (however many that particular title made it) titles to FSU’s 11, every FSU fan who debates the point directs me to one place: the “Florida State Seminoles athletics” wikipedia page, where sure enough, FSU is given credit for 19 of them.

Unlike these FSU fans, I actually did some research and looked into them (because they sure as hell aren’t going to). The following national championships that FSU claims are legitimate: football in 1993, 1999 and 2013, women’s golf in 1981, men’s track and field in 2006 and 2008, women’s track and field in 1984 (outdoor) and 1985 (indoor), women’s soccer in 2014, and men’s gymnastics in 1951 and 1952. That makes 11. The other eight that Wikipedia page claims are softball in 1981 and 1982, and women’s indoor track and field in 1981, 1982 and 1985, women’s outdoor track and field in 1981 and 1984 and cheerleading in 1997. There are various problems with them:

-1981 and 1982 softball

It’s true that FSU won AIAW (governing body for women’s collegiate sports at the time) softball national championships in 1981 and 1982. There’s just one problem. The two titles they claim were both slow pitch softball tournaments, something that Wikipedia page just conveniently forgot to mention. In reality, Utah State was the 1981 national champion in softball, while the 1982 championship was split between UCLA (NCAA) and Texas A&M (in the last year of the AIAW). Even FSU’s own athletics site admits that those championships were slow pitch, though they added their own twist to it by claiming that softball was slow pitch at the time, which is wholly false; the two just coexisted at the same time. Anyway, there’s no way I’m going to give FSU credit for a national championship in a sport I dominated in high school gym class. Slow pitch softball is like coach pitch baseball. There’s no defensive skill involved because anybody with decent hand-eye coordination can crush it over the fence, no problem. I probably hit a home run nine out of every ten times up, and that’s nothing special because half my gym class can say the same thing. So yeah, slow pitch softball championships don’t count.

-1981, 1982 and 1984 women’s indoor track and field/1981 and 1985 women’s outdoor track and field

Nowhere else on the internet does FSU claim these national titles. Not in FSU’s official media guide (you can find their list of championships on page 33), not on the NCAA’s list of outdoor track and field champions or indoor track and field champions, and not even on FSU’s track and field wikipedia page. Nice try.

-1997 Cheerleading 

Cheerleading is not a sport. Sorry. Admittedly, some can question whether gymnastics (in which UF has three national championships) is a sport or not, but I draw the line at cheerleading.

So there we are. 11 national championships. Five made up out of nowhere, two in a game that’s been reduced to intramural, and one in the popular after school activity in high schools across the country. Whenever an FSU fan tries to claim 19, remind them of that.

I should point out one more thing. Some FSU fans are really smart, successful people with a good amount of common sense; this doesn’t apply to them. I’m not bashing the entirety of the Florida State fan base, because some of them are really good human beings with good heads on their shoulders. But there is an unfortunately large quantity of FSU fans with substandard levels of intelligence who irritate Gator fans purely for the sport of it. It’s unfortunate that I have to pander to that level, but hey, if this ends even one argument, it’s served its purpose.

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    Creator and founder of IAKOW 2.0

14 thoughts on “Snapshot: Florida-FSU graphic shows the Gators own the Noles

  1. Oh, man… I knew we owned them in just about every statistical category, but I had no idea their fan base claimed national titles solely through Wikipedia. That’s absolutely hilarious.

  2. Lol. I love the way the “author” and i use the term loosely, forgot to mention that gap in years in which UF has been participating in sports compared to FSU. Maybe he’s to lazy to do the research, so I’ll do it for him. UF 1st season of football: 1906, FSU 1st season: 1947 So UF had a 41 year head start. But I’m sure he took that in consideration. With a 41 year head start it makes your numbers comparison look a bit shameful that FSU has accomplished the same or close to the same things on less time. But who cares about facts.

    1. Hahahaha I really hope you’re on your period. I can’t imagine how irritable you must be in real life.

      Look, buddy. Florida didn’t take football seriously until Bob Woodruff was hired in 1950. UF was just a club team, if that. They just didn’t care. You can’t judge the merits of a football program by picking years where they were not actively trying. FSU, however, with that little brother syndrome that we’ve grown so tired of, felt like they had to compete with the big brother, so they started trying to build a program immediately.

      And also: whose brilliant idea was it to keep FSU a girls’ school all those years? For fuck’s sake, you waited until after World War II to integrate. Let’s talk about that, and how shameful that is. Maybe UF got a head start, but that’s YOUR FAULT FOR NOT ALLOWING MALES until 1947.

      1. “You can’t judge the merits of a football program by picking years where they were not actively trying.” Lol that funny,but whatever you have to tell yourself to feel good. Why put a teaming on the field if you’re not trying? Who fault is that? I’m sure you were alive back then to know those facts. Those years are in the record books so they count. So I guess the Gaytors weren’t trying when they lost to Georgia Southern and finished the season 4-8? Yeah let’s not count that year either.

  3. What is silly is talking about softball, etc. No one cares abut any sport but football, at least here in the South. The fact of the matter is that UF hasn’t owned FSU, in the only sport that matters, since Bobby Bowden was hired. For your information, that was about forty years ago. So if you want to brag about that, go ahead. I believe UF was 16-2-1 over the first nineteen games of the series, of which, the first six were played in Gainesville. Even then, UF stole a victory by having a corrupt official call an FSU receiver out of bounds, when there is photographic evidence that he was in, and it wasn’t even close. Also, when Bowden started whipping Florida, Florida proceeded to commit the worst cheating on record up until that time. Yet the ill-gotten victories gained by UF remain in the history book.
    No, my friend, UF doesn’t own FSU, and by the same token, FSU doesn’t own UF. That could change if UF has hired another dud as head coach. We won’t know about McElwain for a few years, but if he’s another Foley Special, like Zook and Muschamp, UF is going to continue to wallow in mediocrity. FSU is on top now, by a wide margin, but that can change very quickly. UF was just as dominant in 2009 before the elevation of Fisher as head coach at FSU. If McElwain is the real deal, he can bring back parity to FSU. To think UF is going to dominate FSU ever again is delusional, unless Fisher leaves FSU and they hire someone like Zook or Muschamp.
    Keep talking about softball, or any other sport you like, but football is the only one that matters, and forty years is too long ago to brag about, in fact, were you even alive then?

  4. Gymnastics not a sport??? Are you kidding me? Gymnast train harder, are more conditioned than any other sport. Elite gymnast train 40 hours a week and keep training through most injuries, with no off season.

    1. No one said that gymnastics is not a sport. What was said is that no one cares about gymnastics, softball, or any other sport but football. Football means so much that you see thousands of people show, and pay to see, games that aren’t really games, like New Mexico State this year.People actually enjoy watching a ritualized slaughter. I think such games are pathetic and would never go watch one unless there’s a chance that the game will be competitive. Games like Georgia Southern are so rare that it is the only time a lamb brought for slaughter actually ate the host.

  5. I, for one, don’t think anyone should give fsu or its fans the attention or consideration. UF is the flagship of the state. fsu will never be as good as or even in the same league as UF, across the board.
    To argue sports Ws & Ls is silly. Let’s get to the heart of the matter.
    UF is simply > fsu. Nothing else to say.

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